#26: Regaining Focus

I realise that many of my more recent blog posts have not been particularly on topic or beneficial to myself with regards to what this blog represents. ‘The Male Body Image Experiment’ is an ongoing investigation to establish what works and what does not work with respect to my personal fitness and weight-loss goals. Thus I need to regain some focus and be more objective in future blog entries.

I have slowly been taking steps to bring myself on track, and for the last few days I have been successful in that respect. I am going to list below what I have done which, so far, has worked for whatever reason:

I re-organised my phone – This may sound silly at first, but a good clear out and movement of apps is what actually kick started my new found focus and motivation. This meant clearing out the clutter of apps on the main screen, new wallpaper and deleting some old apps for space. Thus re-organising my phone allowed me to start afresh and rebuild from the ground up in a manner that would empower me to reach my goals.

I installed new apps and moved them to my home screen – With all the clutter removed, my home screen is now only occupied with apps that will help me in some aspect. This means the first apps I see when I unlock my phone are the ones relating to my fitness and weight. I can clearly see these apps as they are no longer swamped in a sea of other apps. I organised them and grouped them all together neatly so my home screen looks organised and clear. The apps I have are MyFitnessPal, Instagram, Thinspo and a file manager – I know a trick with file managers that allow me to hide my own thinspo/fitspo etc safely within my phone without them appearing on my picture galleries which is why a file manager is included.

I started using Widgets – I might be showing my age here, but I accidentally discovered that widgets could be a vital asset to helping me maintain some fitness and weight-loss focus. Basically widgets can display snippets of information from your apps without you having to actually click on the app. MyFitnessPal and Hydro Coach are apps which both have widgets, which I have now displayed across my homescreen. The MyFitnessPal widget displays the calories I have left on a given day, and I cannot emphasise enough how simply seeing that number helps me to stay on track without the need to open the app. The number is always there for me to clearly see every time I unlock my phone.

I feel that the above 3 points have been the steps that have brought forth my ability to stay on track again. What I need to do now is move some thinspo/fitspo across to my file manager and organise my Instagram to display relevant and motivational feeds.

That’s all for today.

Till next time…



#22: Wednesday Weigh-In

Hello everyone,

It is that time of the week again, and the weeks are moving so quickly too! But I am going to keep this post brief: I weigh the same as what I did last week – 148 lbs.

I’m somewhat relieved to be honest, because it has been another one of those weeks where I have felt like I have eaten everything but have not gained. Obviously not as good as losing weight, but at least I’m not any further away from my goals.

It is not all mediocre news though – I have been able to kill my weightlifting workout and increase the weights that I am able to lift, so that’s something I guess. So I may be building some muscle, but I need to lose the fat that surrounds it in order to be lean.

As usual, images will be uploaded onto the respective progress page, but this week is very much the same in terms of appearance.

Anyways, till next time…


#21: Wednesday Weigh-In

Hello everyone,

It is with regret that this is the first week that I have gained weight instead of losing/maintaining it.  I weigh 148 lbs as of this morning. Thankfully it is just 1 lb that I have gained and not more. However this does still set me back by at least 2 weeks – if I had lost 1 lb instead of gaining 1 lb, I would be 146 lbs instead. As usual, my progress page has been updated accordingly.

I have been looking at my progress photos again – exactly 1 month ago I was 3 lbs heavier than what I am right now. Whilst I take some pride in that I have lost weight since then, I do feel that the weight is coming off far too slowly. Hence I need to review my calorie targets and ensure I stick to them better, something which I briefly mentioned on Monday’s post. The rate of weight loss may be (somewhat) consistent, but it’s so slow – I have my goal weight to reach and I’d like to reach it before summer is here!

I am making more efforts to try and view images that will provide inspiration on a more frequent basis. I think that I could do this more effectively by having such images on hand/easily accessible yet still hidden from others. This will hopefully help keep me motivated and fight off those binging feelings.

Fingers crossed next week will have some better results. Till next time…





#20: Falling Off the Wagon

Hello everyone,

It seems that I have fallen off the wagon a bit this last week. Despite having reached my first goal weight, this last week has been really bad for me in the sense that I have generally been unable to fight off cravings for food. It is ironic how eating more makes me feel hungrier than what I would feel if I had less to eat, but this is exactly the problem. I have been eating more of whatever there is, and more often too.

So what do I do now? I need to spend some time and evaluate what the bigger problems are, and then try to resolve them.

I feel that a major part of the problem was that I stopped tracking what I was eating, therefore I need to be more mindful of what I am eating. Possibly related to this, I have been getting hungrier even earlier in the day and even later at night. This has thrown my Intermittent Fasting routine out the window. Therefore I also I think that being more mindful of when I eat will help me break into the routine again. I just need to push through the morning for a few days until the routine sets back in.

I spent the majority of last week feeling drained: this is not as much of an issue today but I feel that it may be related to (a) training myself a bit too hard and (b) caffeine withdrawal. As much as I love my energy drinks, I feel that I need to break away from them. I have been reliant on them for close to 6 years now and I love the taste of them, but I fear that they are detrimental to both my mental and physical well-being. I never needed them or coffee when I was back at high school, and I felt much better then than what I have felt in recent years.

One of the worst problems I have is this: once I know I have eaten too much, my mind goes ‘fuck it, might as well have it all, you’re overboard now’. Instead of having a sense of willpower to stop and acknowledging that I have had enough, I just go nuts and eat all of what I can find. I thought I was getting close to being able to stop on my own free will this last week, but evidently that was not the case – it seems that I am not yet strong enough. I will however have to find a way break this mentality at some point, so that I may regain control should I ever feel myself losing it again.

A few points I should note, so that I may reflect of some positives and not just the bad. I have been eating more ‘healthy’ foods. I have also been more conscious in choosing healthier options over unhealthy choices, generally. I have also been more proactive in preparing foods ahead of time too. Small things like these give me an odd sense of pride in that, for once, I am taking better responsibility over my food choices – whereas previously I would just opt for meal deals in the shop or see what processed crap I can make quickly.

I think I am done for today. Plans to upload my weight and photos on Wednesday are still good, and I will upload them irrespective of whether I have gained or lost weight.

Till next time…


#19: Wednesday Weigh-In

Hello everyone,

Today I have reached my first goal of 147 lbs! Again, I have only lost 1 lb since the previous weigh-in, but losing anything is still losing which is actually a win haha! As usual, photos will be uploaded to the respective progress gallery soon.

Despite the good news, I have been feeling really down this past week – my work is stressing me out and I feel that it is going nowhere and/or the work that I do is worth little merit. Reaching my 147 lb goal hasn’t improved my mood unfortunately. However I am continuing to persevere in the hopes that I will become more positively minded soon.

Possibly related to the above, I have spent the majority of the last week feeling that I’ve had to drag myself everywhere. I have been so terribly lethargic and spending a lot more time trying to sleep in an attempt to gain some energy, but to no avail. As a result of this seeming ‘lack of energy’, I have been eating more than what I should/planned. Perhaps this is my body’s way of telling me I need to rest more or reduce the intensity of my exercise until my body recovers a bit? Or maybe it is the carb-cutting that is making me feel this way? I hope that with some more time, these feelings of being down and tiredness will go away.

Anyways, till next time…


#18: Wednesday Weigh-In

Hello everyone,

I’ve already gone and uploaded my weight and photos onto the ‘My Weight-Loss Progress’ page. But if you haven’t seen it, then I will spoil the result for you – I am 148 lbs as of this morning! The total weight lost since the start is now 13 lbs, so I have nearly lost a stone in weight. This actually puts me very close to my first goal weight of 147 lbs – only 1 lb more to lose and I’ve reached it!

I have been criticising my progress images and comparing today’s progress to my first image uploads. To be honest, I really don’t see any significant change – maybe my gut sticks out less? The biggest comparison I can make is between the 155 lbs and 148 lbs photos, so there is only a difference of 7 lbs to try and visually scrutinise. There is also some variability which might make it harder to draw a good comparison – the distance and height between my camera and the mirror will not be the same after each photo, as will my body angle and posture.

What I cannot see in my photos, I can certainly feel. I have been able to fit better into some  previously ‘tight’ fitting clothes, and my jeans actually require a belt now to stop them from falling down haha. I feel physically fitter than what I did before, probably as a result of actively doing more exercise, harder exercise and generally choosing healthier foods when I eat.

Although it feels like I am not making much progress and that results take forever to happen, I know that if I remain consistent and patient then I will eventually reach my goals. I have lost 13 lbs so far – I don’t want to throw that away.

Till next time…


#17: Weekend Reflections

Hello everyone,

It always comes to that certain part of the week where everything just seems to go out the window – the weekend. Now it wasn’t necessarily bad, it was just not as controlled as it should be.

I know that there is this trait I possess where it is difficult to say no when it comes to accepting and buying food with certain people. I do not want to raise suspicion of my ‘regimented’ eating, nor do I want to cause offence by constantly refusing the offer, but it gets to the point where I start to feel worse for myself by accepting such gestures. It boils down to this: I have goals that I want to achieve, and this unrestricted behaviour is going to make it take longer to reach them. And this weakness has only really been apparent at the weekends. I spend my time worrying about how each weekend could completely offset the work I’ve done during the week to lose weight, or wondering how likely I am to have gained weight from the weekend.

Moving onto some more positive stuff: since spending more time and thought on meal preparation, I have seen both an average increase in protein consumption coupled with a reduced calorie intake, during the week at least. On top of that, I am saving some extra cash too. Despite this, I am still usually above my carbohydrate goals on average. Maybe I need to increase my carbs target to a more feasible value?

Anyway, my current plans are still in effect and I shall see the results on Wednesday.

Till next time…